Space to Fail

‘In order to free yourself from the imposter phenomenon, you should find something you can allow yourself to be woeful at,’ says Dr Terri Simpkin, Associate Professor at the University of Nottingham, founder and CEO of Mischief Business Engineering and long-time global researcher of the imposter phenomenon. In her case, she chose tap dancing.

‘I got to the point where I was so tired of having to be perfect that I just wanted something that I could go and do that I wouldn’t be scrutinized for,’ she explained. ‘Something I could allow myself to just be really bad at all. I went and found an adult tap class. Mainly because I thought, ‘I’ve got no sense of rhythm. But you know what? I don’t care. I have to get used to not being good at something.’

‘While it didn’t resolve all of my Imposter experiences or characteristics, it helped me. It didn’t matter whether I was off the beat or crashing into my fellow students or falling over on the floor. It allowed me that space to fail.’

Leaders in Conversation is a series of discussions with big-hearted leaders where we explore the possibilities and challenges of being human in a digital workplace. Season 2 focuses on the messy complexity and uncomfortable side of being human with leaders that help us look at success through the lens of failure. This week we asked Dr Simpkin about Imposter Phenomenon and how individuals and leaders can sabotage their own success and the success of their organizations.

What is the imposter phenomenon?

Dr Simpkin began by explaining why she prefers the term ‘imposter phenomenon’ to the perhaps more well-known ‘imposter syndrome.’

She said: ‘It’s never been officially known as a syndrome. A syndrome is something that is relatively constant. It’s something that’s medicalized. Imposter phenomenon is not a disease by any stretch of the imagination. It is a learned behaviour. And because of that, it can be unlearned.’

For example, someone may experience the imposter phenomenon in one job but not another, or as a parent but not in a work environment.

‘We’re talking about somebody who has a whole suite of capabilities, successes and achievement behind them, but they genuinely do not recognize them as their achievement. There’s no internalization of that success or of those capabilities. It is a genuinely held belief that any success or achievement that has come to them, has come because of somebody else or something else, such as luck or good fortune.’

How can it damage your career or leadership qualities?

Dr Simpkin added that in the workplace, imposter phenomenon (IP) could lead to people damaging their own careers as they may not put themselves forward for opportunities or promotion, believing that they are not capable and may get ‘found out’.

‘This is a quote that somebody brought up in the research I was doing: ‘In my quiet moments, I know I can take on the world.’ There’s this inner sense of confidence; yet they’re terrified that someone is going to call them out as a fake. That is the double whammy of why this is so tragic for people who experience IP. They know they’re doing it, but can’t help it.’

She added that for leaders, IP could lead to them having unrealistic or even impossibly high expectations, which in turn could cause stress and frustration both for themselves and their colleagues.

‘If you are experiencing IP yourself, you’re more likely to have perfectionist tendencies, not only for yourself but also for your team.’

‘I’ve also spoken to leaders who’ve said they’d secretly taken work away from their teams and worked on it themselves. Can you imagine how that that team member must have felt? And of course that pushes people to embrace burnout. People who experience IP are more likely to experience overwork, stress, anxiety and depression.’

Where does the imposter phenomenon come from?

The phenomenon often has its roots in childhood experiences, Dr Simpkin explained.

‘A common one that people might resonate with is when you come home with the school report card for the end of term. You say: ‘I got 98% on the test.’ Your parents say: ‘Oh, fabulous. But what happened to the other two per cent?’

‘These narratives start laying down an expectation that all of the focus is going to be on what I didn’t do rather than what I did do.’

How does imposter phenomenon manifest itself?

Dr Simpkin said a key characteristic of IP is the inability to enjoy your successes, or accept that what you achieved was down to your capability or talent.

‘When the results come in, the feedback is usually good because these people are high achievers. But there’s no ‘I’m relishing the fact that I’ve actually done a really good job, other people are telling me so.’ Those with IP will discount it and then move on to the next thing. All they will essentially have left from that experience is stress and anxiety, rather than being able to enjoy the fact that they’re very good at what they do.’

What is the difference between simple self-doubt and true imposter phenomenon?

‘Self-doubt is what pushes you to identify where the gaps in your capability are and to resolve them. IP consistently believes there are gaps in your capability and these will never be resolved, because any praise or positive feedback is put down to external factors.’ Dr Simpkin explained. ‘And so for me, there is nothing good about IP because you should be able to enjoy all of those accolades without the stress and anxiety that usually comes with IP.’

Imposter phenomenon can even cause a physical reaction.

‘When someone with IP is being given praise or good feedback, they often get that flight or fight response. There is that stress response that comes with it while they are saying oh, it wasn’t me it was my team.’

People who work in an environment where they are outside of the ‘norm’ (perhaps a male midwife, or a female engineer) are more likely to experience IP. Dr Simpkin added that according to research, it is a myth that women experience it more than men.

What can a leader do to deal with IP in the workplace?

1. Firstly, recognize it as an actual thing. There has been over four decades of robust peer reviewed research into it. It is an actual thing. Not just something ‘suffered’ by celebrities on social media.
2. Listen out for the language. If you say: ‘You did a great job with that project and they reply: ‘Oh, anyone could have done that, or it wasn’t me, it was my team (when it clearly wasn’t). I just got lucky,’ that’s a red flag.
3. What people need to hear is evidence-based feedback. Be specific, don’t just say something was ‘fabulous’. Providing really clear feedback about why you think somebody has done a good job, is helpful for everyone’s development,
4. Understand how your systems and processes are working. Might your job descriptions encourage people with IP to think ‘I can’t do that’ and not apply?
5. If you’re seeing people who have talent, don’t sit and wait for them to stick their hand up. Approach them and say: ‘There’s this role coming up. We think you’d be suitable for the role because’ and then provide specific evidence and ask them to apply.

How to unlearn imposter phenomenon

1. Recognise it as a real thing. It is not something that only exists between your ears.
2. Write down all your achievements. This is very difficult for people who experience IP. It’s about getting uncomfortable with your strengths. It’s about having those toe-curling moments and moving through them. Be really brutal with understanding where your capabilities lie, even if it makes you uncomfortable and triggers that flight or fight response. The more you do that the less that response will happen.
3. Find somebody who has no interest in being nice to you and ask them to give you feedback. People with IP experiences will often dismiss praise or good feedback, even if it’s provided to them in an objective manner, because they think someone is just being nice. Find somebody who’s got no interest in being nice to you; who’s going to tell you like it is.
4. Find something you can allow yourself to be absolutely rubbish at so that you get used to the idea of not having to be perfect. This will help you to get to the understanding that failure is part of life and a precursor to learning.
5. IP is perpetuated by having a narrative that supports it. To unlearn it, you need to unpick your narrative. Ask yourself, where have the stories come from that tell you that you are not good at what you do? Did it come from school, your parents or somewhere else. by rewriting the stories you tell yourself you can change the way you feel.

If you want to carry on the conversation with Dr Terri Simpkin visit her website or connect with her on Twitter

Who are the hosts of Leaders in Conversation?

Amanda Cookson and Ken Blackwell are the trans-Atlantic co-hosts of the web series Leaders in Conversation. To find out more about the series, its speakers and take a deeper dive into the themes, join the Leaders in Conversation Linkedin Group.

Amanda is a Coach and Founder of Northern Value Creators and is based in the UK. You can connect with Amanda via Twitter @AmandaCookson and on Linkedin at AmandaCookson.

Ken Blackwell, based in the US, is a speaker, facilitator and coach and CEO of InKlaritas. You can connect with Ken via Twitter @K_Blackwell and on Linkedin at KenBlackwell